Save Me
by PenandPaperlove
Summary: To say I was shocked when I first found him is an extreme understatement. Traumatized? Yeah, that might be a better word. But it's not every day you find someone in a pool of blood. At least, until I found him. ShuuIchi. Self-Harm. Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

To say I was shocked when I first found him is an extreme understatement. Traumatized? Yeah, that might be a better word. Shitting my pants? Yeah, that's the perfect phrase. But shocked? No, that's way too mild. But then again, it's not like you walk in on someone with a pool of blood around them every day, do you? Well, at least I never did. Until I found him.  
I was walking past his dorm room when I heard music being played extremely loud. Okay, that's a lie; I wasn't walking past his dorm room I was walking _to_ his dorm room. My way too passive roommate Kira was getting upset at the volume and forced me to tell our hall mate to shut the fuck up. Well, not in those words per say. Regardless of how I was to tell the guy to be quiet, I found myself hesitating outside of his door; I could simply feel negative air oozing out of the door frame. Slowly and hesitantly, I lifted my knuckles to the door, which was pushed open by the sheer pressure of my knock. And that's how I found him.

"Sa-"

He looked at me with hazy, brown eyes whatever consciousness he had within him was quickly fading. His arms were dangling uselessly against the floor as blood seeped through the fresh cuts that littered his wrist. His chest was rising and falling in quick repetition. His vibrant orange locks were plastered to his forehead with sweat. His mouth gaped at me like a fish out of water. He looked like he was trying to say something, the voice not daring to leave his throat. His brown eyes caught mine and my heart lurched. I realized it then. I froze while someone was dying in front of me.

"..ve me."

Without a second thought I ran into his room, no longer caring if he was a complete stranger that I hadn't seen until today. His body felt lithe in my arms and extremely fragile. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling how cold his body was as it silently convulsed. I easily picked him up and sprinted out of the room and to mine. It hadn't even occurred to me to call a doctor. So instead, I ran to Kira. I didn't notice that I was crying until he asked me why I was. I watched as his eyes raked over my body, my clothes now covered in blood of another person. His eyes went wide at the limp body that I now held in my arms. He didn't say anything as he picked up the phone and called an ambulance.

To say the ride to the hospital was awkward is an extreme understatement. Scary? Yeah, that was the perfect word. Nerve-wracking to the point of tears? Yeah, that was a better phrase. But awkward? No, that was the last feeling on my mind. Because, when I was watching as the paramedics checked his vitals, doing whatever they could to keep the guy alive, I couldn't think of anything about the _fear_ of having someone die. Especially when I knew I could have saved them.

I once again found myself crying, silent tears making their way down my cheeks as I cried over a guy I had never met before. A guy who could have died if I hadn't been the one elected to tell him to turn his music around. If Kira and I simply turned our music up louder, contributing to the overall noise, instead of intervening, the guy could have died. My heart started to stammer in my chest, and I was unable to comprehend anything else. The guy could have died.

As soon as we got to the hospital I was instantly bombarded with question. None of which I could answer. All I could say was that I found him in his room. _Found him in his room_. He was a stranger. Someone I had no recognition of. _Had I even met the guy before_? How do you live right next to someone for half a semester and not remember ever seeing the guy? Especially, when he had hair as bright, as his. I didn't even know his name, which was a problem for everyone in the hospital. That is, until two people came running into the hospital screaming in panic

"Ichigo! Where the hell is Ichigo?"

A small girl with raven black hair was streaming tears as she continued to yell at the receptionist.

"Rukia." A somber looking red-head placed his large hand on her shoulder. "Yelling, won't do anything."

"Shut up, Renji. Ju-just shut up." Turned smacked his hand away and turned to the receptionist again. "Where is Ichigo? He has orange hair and is probably d-dy-ying from lack of blood. Wh-whe-where the hell is he?"

"Renji?" The red-head turned around to look at me, his honey colored eyes widening in schock.

"Shuuhei…what are you doing here?" His eyes quickly covered my body, instantly noticing the blood that was drying on my clothes. His face quickly contorted until all I met was an anger that I would never be able to explain. Within a few steps he had crossed the waiting room and had his hands fisting into my shirt, lifting me off the chair a little. "You found him? What the hell happened? Why is my best friend in a hospital?"

Fear ran through my body. "I-I do-don't know. I just found him."

Renji's hands let go of my shirt and I fell back into my seat. The three of us were silent. Renji had been rubbing small circles into the small of the Rukia girl's back, as she cried into her hands, mumbling over and over again that she should have seen the signs. I sat there, feeling extremely uncomfortable by the stifling pressure of the waiting room.

Why was I still here? Why hadn't I left already? He wasn't _my_ friend. He was a stranger. Someone I found dying and did the right thing by taking him to the hospital. Although I found reasons why I didn't need to be in the hospital any longer, I found myself glued to my seat. I was unable to leave, something in my body wouldn't let me. So I sat there, waiting. For what? I'm not sure myself. Reassurance that he didn't die? Renji could have told me that some other time. Some sort of merit for doing a good deed? Even I wasn't that vain. For whatever reason, I continued to sit, listening to Rukia's constant sobs and Renji's reassuring words.

It felt like hours before we got any word. A quiet, mousy male nurse coming into the hallway to tell us that the Ichigo character was fine. Rukia and Renji stood up instantly, asking if they could go see him right off the bat. The small male nodded, but he stopped them when they started to walk towards Ichigo's hospital room. When they questioned him, the nurse simply turned to me. His grey eyes piercing into the mind.

"He wants to see the person who found him."

Shocked. This was the perfect time to use the word. Renji and Rukia had both turned to me silently, eyeing me with wonder to why Ichigo wanted to see me but not them. I ignored their gaze as I slowly stood up and fell into step with the nurse. He went on and on about Ichigo being jumpy and unaware of his surroundings. He was still in a mild state of shock and that I was supposed to be extremely cautious of my actions and words. I walked next to him, half-listening to what he said as my mind quickly ran over the situation. What exactly am I supposed to say to someone who just tried to kill themselves?

I walked into the dark room, listening to the beeping of the machines that seemed to be monitoring his vitals. He looked even smaller in the hospital bed, not that I had known what he looked like on a good day. The nurse left us almost instantly, saying that I had ten minutes before he returned. We stared at each other, and I let out a sigh of relief when I noticed that there had actually be some sign of life behind the dark brown orbs. I ran a hand through my short, black hair, trying to do _something_ to break the tension that was penetrating the air.

"What does your tattoo mean?"

I looked up at him, his soft, yet strong voice filled the room instantly. Quite honestly, that was not the first question I expected him to ask me. "What?"

"Your tattoo…on your face. What does it mean?"

My hand came up to feel the difference between my skin and the ink. "It's a memoir, to my step-father. He saved me when I was younger, he had a similar tattoo."

"You had someone save you?" He cocked his head as he watched me with a small scowl that almost seen natural.

"Yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly feeling nervous. "I was in an orphanage. He found me and gave me life."

"So you weren't dying?" His voice seemed like it fell slightly.

"Not in the physical sense."

"Is that why you saved me?" He looked up at me again, his brown eyes probing and questioning.

"No."

"Really?" His eyes narrowed. "Then why did you do it?"

"You asked me to."

There was nothing left to be said. We stared at each other, feeling each other out as we stared at each other's features. I'm not sure what it was, but I found my feet moving on their own, bringing me to the side of his bed. I should have stopped myself, but my brain was simply not connecting with my brain, and my hand had instantly reached out for his. So there I was: standing next to a guy I had never seen before in my life, holding his hand and rubbing small circles that I had Kensei had done for me so many times when I was younger. I stared at him. He was a mysterious boy, and there was something inside me that wanted to solve the ever present question.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

* * *

**Hello Readers!**

**So this kind of came to me out of the blue and my fingers were itching to write it.  
I'm not sure if I'm going to keep this as a one shot or if it's a full fledge story, since I know I could work up _some_ kind of plot of it.  
But, since I'm currently writing two other stories, I'm not sure if I'm gonna continue this.  
If I do, it won't be until I finish one of my other stories.  
**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed.  
It's a lot darker than I usually write, but it's something I've wanted to write for a while now. **


	2. Chapter 2

I stood facing the now empty dorm room. Of course it was still empty; I shouldn't have been so surprised to find out the occupant left school after "recovering" in the hospital. I hadn't been the one dying and I was bombarded with questions on a daily basis. This would have been hell for the kid. A pungent smell antibacterial and air-freshener remained in the air. It was as if the school was trying to hide from the next dormer that someone tried to kill themselves in same room. A dark chuckle bubbled from my lips; that sounded like a bad, cliché plot for a horror film. Shaking the slightly humorous thoughts from my mind, I looked back into the empty room, a slight pang piercing my gut.

It had been two weeks since I opened the door to the same room for the first time. Now that I stood staring at the room, I couldn't remember the look of the occupant's belongings that once resided in the room. The only thing made its way to the forefront of my brain was the orange-haired man who was lying in a puddle of his own blood. The night in the hospital followed quickly, the sounds of the machine, the soft glow of the monitors brightening his head of orange hair, the cold touch of his skin when I grasped his hand unknowingly. The thing that stuck me the most was not the cold look in his eyes when I asked him why he did it, it was the lack of response that he gave me as he turned his head and closed his eyes. A shiver ran through my body and I forced myself to turn and walk next door to my room.

"You were doing it again, weren't you?" Kira didn't even look up at me as I entered the room.

"Yeah." I sat down at my desk, picking up one of the articles that I was supposed to be editing for the school news paper.

"I don't see why you do that. It's not going to change anything." There was a soft rustling sound and I knew Kira had turned to look at me. That and I could feel his eyes boring deep holes into my shoulders. "I heard he had problems, but that does not mean you have to go fixing them Shuuhei. This isn't one of your articles that you can just look at and edit out everything that you don't like."

A deep sigh made its way out of my body as I placed the paper back down on the desk, not that I had read more than one sentence anyway. "I know. It's just…I can't help it. When I walk by, I have to stop. What if I hadn't gone into his room? What if I hadn't…"

"Shuuhei…" Kira paused, and I turned in my seat to look at him. His face had taken on its typical tired and worried expression. "Why can't you just move past it? You hadn't known the guy. It's not like he was your friend or anything…"

The words were quiet, and it surprised the hell of me to even hear the slightly ungrateful words tumbling out of my best friend's mouth. He probably noticed by how wide my eyes had gotten, but decided not to say anything, favoring in chewing his lip instead. A tense and heavy atmosphere fell over us as his words hung in the air. I shook my head and stood up, suddenly not wanting to be in the same vicinity as the blonde hair man who stayed seated, staring at the chair I had just gotten out of. Without a word, I grabbed my bag from the floor and walked out of the room, letting the door slam behind me.

My feet lead me on their own as I pushed the door open to the stair case so I could take the short flight of stairs down to go to the room of a person who would have answers. Kira was right, I didn't know the guy and it really wasn't my business to meddle, but since that night my brain had been plagued with images, thoughts, feelings all revolving around that damn orange-haired guy who tried to kill himself next door. No matter what I did that's all that surrounded me: thoughts of him, and him alone.

I shook my head when I noticed the black bandana that had been wrapped around the doorknob. Despite this, I lifted a hand to knock on the door I was now standing in front of. There was a sound of something crashing, followed by a few select curse words, before the door knob turned revealing the tall red head who was pulling up a pair of sweats. By the disheveled state of his hair, and the dark haired senpai I had seen around campus but couldn't place a name to, there was no question to what the man had been doing prior to answering the door. I could feel the heat race up my neck and behind my ears as honey brown eyes stared down at me.

"Hisagi, this really isn't a good time." Renji looked over his shoulder, and I noticed the long haired man on the bed was shuffling under the covers that pooled around his waist. From the movement it looked like the man was trying to pull some pants on.

"I just have a question." I tried to ignore the pale form that was moving in the corner of my eye.

"Abarai, should I come back another time?"

We both turned around at the sound of the noble voice that had emitted from man that was now standing by the bed clad in his boxers and a pair of jeans. Once the man was standing, fixing his long black hair, I realized that the man was the captain of the kendo club, Byakuya Kuchiki. I flushed slightly, knowing that Renji had been pining after the man ever since the two had entered college. I noticed Renji's eyes go up in panic as he stepped back into the room, placing a hand on the man's pale shoulder as he pushed him back onto the bed.

"No, this won't take long."

Renji walked back towards me, pushing me rather hard into the hallway as he partially closed the door behind him. Renji glanced around the hall before finally locking eyes with me. He sighed, which I could only mean that he realized what I wanted and why I had sought him out in the first place. Although it wasn't strange for me to come around, considering recent events there was only one explanation of why I had chosen to ignore the universal signal of "do not disturb" that was still wrapped around the doorknob. Renji opened his mouth to speak but I lifted a hand and cut him off.

"I just want to ask if you know where he is." I looked him straight in the eye, noticing the conflicting emotion that was currently raging within the depths.

Renji was the one who broke the eye contact. I saw a swirl of sorrow before he turned away. "I can't tell you that."

"And why not?" Anger started to form in my gut, something that was very unusual to feel toward my red-headed friend.

"I just don't think it's a good idea. He left this place to get _away_ from the questions. You showing up to the door may disturb whatever progress he's been making."

Renji turned back to look at me, a pleading look in his eye. For as long as I have known the other man, I had never seen him look so…tame, toward a person. This guy, this Ichigo, was clearly something special to the red-head and I felt something flash through me that I couldn't put a name to. Whatever it was made me want to prove Renji wrong, all I wanted was Ichigo's well being.

I dropped my head, staring hard at the floor. The next words came out in a whisper that shocked both Renji and I. "I just need to see that he's alright."

"Why?" Renji's voice came out as a soft growl, something with a protective edge hidden in the background.

"I don't know. Every since that night, he's all I think of. I need…I want to make sure he's okay." I looked up, noticing the soften features on Renji's face. "Please, just…just let me see him, even if it's only once."

Renji sighed and ran his hand through his long locks before scrubbing his face. He looked up and down the hall again. He was stalling, I had seen the man do it before, but this meant he made a decision, which would either make me want to kill the guy or make me want to hug him. Renji locked eyes on me, hard with no playful fire that I had seen in the hues in other circumstances. He scowled and I felt my heart sinking, the man really wasn't going to tell me how to find Ichigo. I took a deep breath and prepared to walk away when I heard him let out another side, words forming on the tip of his tongue. I turned and give him a questioning look as I let him voice his decision.

"He moved back in with his dad." Renji leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest. "His dad's a doctor, so the hospital recommended that Ichigo moved in with him. He lives in the small suburbs, about a thirty minute bus ride from here. Ya got a pen?"

My eyes widened at the information, truly surprised that Renji was giving me such vital facts. I reached into one of the pockets of my bag to pull out a pen. He took my hand as he wrote down simple directions on the inside of my forearm. He let go of my hand and gave me back my pen before turning around and opening the door. The kendo captain was sitting on the bed flipping through a magazine when the door opened, staring at us with a questioning glare. I cleared my throat and began to walk way.

I stopped and looked over my shoulder and saw that Renji was still standing in the door way watching me. "Thanks…I mean it."

"Tch." Renji picked up a lock of hair and stared at the ends. "It's fine. But if I hear anything about you disturbing his recovery, I'll personally kill you." He didn't say anything as he turned into his room, slamming his door behind him. As I was leaving I could hear the faint sound of the door locking.

Sitting on the bench as I waited for the bus, I could feel my heart pounding deep within my chest, threatening to burst out of its confines into the open. My eyes trailed down my air to the messy scrawl that was going to lead me to the orange-haired man that had managed to turn my life into a complete mess in a mere night. But, as I was sitting there, my mind began to race, thoughts coming at me a mile a minute. Why was I so damn determined to see the man? Was it because I wanted to make sure he was alright? Was it because I have _such_ a need for order in my life that I won't allow loose ends to exist? Is it because I wanted to see the outcome of the man's health? Or was it because the lost look in his eye kept me captivated? A look that made me want to help him…to save him from whatever terrors were haunting him.

I was no knight in shining armor. I could barely get past my own skeletons that I tried to keep hidden in the deep depths of my closet, so how come I was rushing to the side of someone who was clearly more damage than I was? There was no answer to that question. I couldn't help Ichigo if I didn't know what was wrong. So was that why I wanted to see him? Because he hadn't told me why he wanted to kill himself?

"Are you getting on the bus, or you just gonna sit there?"

The sound of the voice snapped me out of the reverie that I had fallen into at the recess of my brain. I stared up at the brute man that was seated behind the big steering wheel. Realizing that everyone had boarded the bus already, I got up from my seat and walked into the vehicle, taking a seat in the back. Once situated in my seat I slipped on my head phones, allowing myself to fall into another deep train of thought as I waited to arrive at my destination.

What was supposed to happen when I got to the boy's house? I hadn't really thought of plan that far, my thoughts only revolving around getting the guy to talk to me and I hadn't really registered the idea of how I was going to make that happen. What was I supposed to do if he ignored me? If he was pushed away and wasted an afternoon riding the bus to a part of the city I had never been to before. I pushed the negative comments to the back of my mind, in order to make this work I had to think positively.

Thirty minutes went by faster than I imagined it would and I found myself exiting the bus in a neighborhood that looked like the place where you could ask your neighbor for a cup of sugar. Glancing back down at my arm, I looked at the last set of directions, following them down the length of the street before making a right and looking for the house number that held troubled youth. Finding the house ended up not being that difficult at all, especially with the giant 'Kurosaki Clinic" sign that hung above what looked like a garage door. With hurried steps I made my way to the front door.

The sound of the doorbell echoed throughout the house, and with the hushed sound of footsteps caused my heartbeat increase. A droplet of sweat slid down my neck and my hand instantly snapped up in effort to wipe it away before the door opened. I could feel more sweat warming the skin around my hair line, nervousness quickly raking its way through my body as I tried to calm down when the door knob turned. He wasn't expecting for Ichigo to answer the door, but he was surprised to see a teenage girl that answered the door with a hard scowl on her face. Her dark black hair reached her shoulders and her face hinted similar features to the man I came to see.

Her gaze hardened as she took in my appearance. "Can I help you with something?"

"I'm…" I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling slightly stupid for standing on the man's door step. "I'm look for Ichigo."

The girl's eyes widened in surprised before narrowing into slits. "DAD!"

I jumped slightly at the yell that had emitted from her. There was a rumbling sound coming from somewhere within the depths of the house, and I could hear someone running towards the door with the sound of something similar to cries.

"My dear daughter, finally calling out to her daddy!" A broad man with deep brown hair pulled the door open and stared down at his daughter with adoration in his eye. "Tell daddy what you want my sweet child. Anything you want!"

The girl turned sharply on the ball of her foot, staring hard at her dad. "He's here for Ichi-nii."

The man's demeanor changed drastically. He stood straight up and turned to me, his dark chocolate eyes staring at me hard as he took in my appearance. I could feel him taking in my face, the tattoo on left cheek and the scars on my right. I suppose my appearance was sudden, but the way he looked at me made me feel more than unwelcomed. There was an uncomfortable silence that fell between us and I wasn't sure what was going to happen in the following conversation.

I cleared my throat, figuring I might as well introduce myself. "Hello, I'm Shuuhei Hisagi. I'm here to see Ichigo."

The man's eyes narrowed as he continued to stare at me, his mouth a hard line. "I've never heard of you before. How did you get here?"

"I…uh, Renji gave me the directions. Sir." I added the 'sir' out of anxiety, not sure how to really address the man. He wasn't necessarily intimidating, but there was something about his demeanor that clearly hinted he was stronger than he let on.

"Renji did, now did he?" The man paused, staring at me with slightly softened eyes. It seemed like my red-headed friend was good in this man's books. "How do you know my son?  
I was dreading this question before it was even asked. I figured we would get to this eventually, despite how much I wanted to avoid it that would only make me seem more suspicious than I already was. With a sigh, clenched my fist and looked him straight in the eye. My answer probably would throw him off course, but I came this far, I needed to see the orange-haired youth.

"I'm the one that found him…in his dorm." I looked down at the floor, staring hard at the ground underneath my shoes. The silence that had escalated between us was earth shattering.

"Go…go away."

My eyes widened as my head snapped up to look at the other man. "Ex-excuse me?"

There was complete rage in the man's eyes. "Get the fuck away from my house."

He said nothing else as he slammed the door, leaving me standing on the stoop like an idiot. My feet moved on their own as they led me back towards the sidewalk. I turned around and stared at the house, first at the door, and then at a window when I saw something move in the corner of my eye. I took a sharp intake of breath when I saw a shocking head of orange watching me from the window. My eyes locked at the brown ones, the man staring at me with curiosity. Not knowing what else to do, I lifted my hand to wave. His eyes widened before he closed the curtain quickly. I felt my heart rate decrease, not even realizing it had sped up until now. I turned back to the street and cussed at myself.

"Now what?"

* * *

**Hello Readers!**

**I'm not sure what compelled me to write this chapter, especially since I'm supposed to be studying for my history final.  
Regardless, this morning I had this itch to write and this was what came out.  
Sorry for the lack of Ichi/Shuuhei in this chapter but my mind would not let me let them meet again, just not yet.  
Again, I'm not sure how frequent the updates for this will be, but I have some want to continue this, so hopefully my GrimmIchi writer's block will give me some time to update this :)**

**Hope you enjoyed for everyone who wanted me to continue this :D **


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